COLLECTIVE SOCIALIZATION

COLLECTIVE SOCIALIZATION

It is unarguably true that every individual makes up the big body of persons called the ‘society‘. But, the fact that there is a collective body of norms or cultures that guide the lifestyles of people within a particular society or another should not disrupt the freedom of an individual to make certain personal decisions. Every human being is a product of one society or the other, thus, an individual’s life is shaped by the society that births him/her. The culture, religion, and in a nutshell, the lifestyle that one is born into has a lot of impact on one’s life. Most times, an individual’s perspective of life is an end product of what the world around him/her has inculcated in him/her. The same process goes on with several other aspects of one’s life. The kinds of religious beliefs, manners of approach to life and situations, decisions, etc. that one ends up with can be traced to the society from which one is born or bred.

For ages, the serious influence that collective socialization has on individual lifestyle has been accused of limiting the freedom of a person to be independent mentally, spiritually, economically, socially, and in many other areas of life. The urge to attain a good level of societal expectations is often evident in the decisions made by individuals. Even when these choices concerns only them; not the society at large. For example, some parents put their children or wards in a particular school because ‘that is what the people around them expect of them,even when they can not comfortably afford the tuition fees or are not even satisfied with the performance of their children in the school. It could also be that one is after material wealth at a time in one’s life when one’s financial status can not bear the expenditures. My father could decide to get a new car, a particular model of car, because he’s friends just bought theirs. And he needs to ‘belong‘, so that ‘people won’t think that he is not capable of living a good life.’ It could as well be that a young boy/girl repeatedly strives to pass the entrance examinations of a tertiary institution that many people around him/her believe to be be the best and the only place to be fully successful in life.’ I have a similar experience of this. Most of my elder ones graduated from a certain university. And this tertiary institution is known for excellence in academic and social life. I grew a flair for the university (consciously or subconsciously). And when I was about to decide which university I wanted to attend, I opted for that same institution. I had learned to love it for many reasons, even though I was still a novice; I hadn’t got a personal experience of the university. It turned out to be good, anyways. But I realised that there were people who had the similar experience as mine, but their expectations weren’t met by their experience in the university. For some, it turned out to be that they were not comfortable with the environment, or that they believed that they would have been better if they had chosen a different tertiary institution.

… to be continued

YOU MATTER!

YOU MATTER!

Have you ever looked at the statistics of the World’s population? Or you have taken time to think of the numerous people who are making positive impacts on people’s lives? And you ask yourself what you have to offer to the world. You want to improve the health care of nations? There are people doing so already. You want to be the first this or that? There are people who have broken world records in different phases of life, there are even people who are already breaking the records you desire to break while you’re still in the making of your BIG DREAMS. Then you wonder what’s left for you to do so that the world feels your existence.

Several times, I have thrown some of my goals inside trash cans because I didn’t think it was going to be of POSITIVE INFLUENCE on the world. There were also times when I was doubtful about my strength, zeal, perseverance and determination to achieve my goals in life. Yet, I ask myself the same question: ‘do I matter?’ Each time I asked myself this question, I had a thousand and one reasons to conclude that I was of less or no importance to the world. And there was just one reason why I believed I was important to the world: the world relies on me. If one continues to think about the unavailability of reasons why he/she should believe that he/she is the world’s biggest hope, one may end up with no good reasons to stand up, show up for the world and make the lives of people better with little things that matter.

I discovered my passion for writing and other artistic activities at a quite early stage of my life. And I love to sit alone and observe my environment; the activities, people, things. I started with poetry; I wrote what I believed were poems (even though some of them weren’t really poems, but prose. Lol) I continued to polish my writing skills as I grew up. With time, I was getting the exposure that I needed at different stages of my development. And for some years, I was building and polishing my ability to produce good poetic works. As I continued to breed myself, I realised that my skills began to multiply; I developed from poetry to prose. And I have always loved photography, and my passion for it grew deeper earlier this year. I don’t own a professional camera yet, but I didn’t let the PASSION cool down; I nurtured it on one side while I focused on my writings. Fortunately for me, I got an iPhone as a gift. The moment the phone came into the big picture, I knew I had to do something about my passion for photography. I began to take pictures of my immediate environment. I downloaded applications that could help me with photography and editing. I created a familiarity with the applications and I tested my ability to do some practical work with them. Then I opened an Instagram page (SHADESANDCOLOURS1980) where I could post some of my amateur photos. I wasn’t going to wait for the big stage before I nurtured my skills. I was willing to build my big picture life from the humble beginning.

While many people wait on the readymade goals and realities, I believe that every small start has a purpose.

One person can’t help everybody. But everybody can help one person.

Everyone of us on earth matters because the world wasn’t built for one person. And one person’s need lies in everybody else, the same way everybody’s needs lie in each and every human beings here on earth. Whenever you doubt your importance to the world, I want you to always remember that YOU MATTER.

I trust you have a reason to believe that YOU MATTER. Do the world a favour by sharing this article. Someone somewhere needs you to share this with them.

Everything Should Teach You A Lesson

Everything Should Teach You A Lesson

   The power of nature/life can not be over exaggerated. We live without seeing the air we breathe, life comes and goes daily without apologies. The inability of any man to not fulfill his purpose on earth or acctualise his dreams/hopes can not stop the ‘tick tock’ of time. Days run, weeks, months chase years away. Seasons upon seasons grow and wither, hours wry in decay, memories fade or linger for as long as they can. People die, new souls are born. Dreams, aspirations, hopes flow away with running oceans. Happiness, celebrations fill the atmosphere. Doom visits, tears flow, emotions hurt or heal. Things start, everything ends. Such is life! 

What scares me most is my failure to live my life and influence people’s lives positively .
What about you?

Gratitude

Gratitude

   It is a new year already, busy schedules, countless demands, heartbreaks, fun, harsh realities etc. Whether we like it or not, life will throw stones at us at anytime or day, when we expect it and when we do not expect it. To be sincere, it is hard bearing the pains and more emotional bearing it  alone. Everyone has got personal challenges that they are to overcome, so, you see it is really hard to bear someone’s problems with yours. 

In all you do, be grateful for everything; the good and bad. It is hurtful to appreciate the negative experiences that life makes us go through, but, being thankful for them relieves the pains they cause. Try it, you will not regret it.


  ‘Be grateful for every stone that life throws at you.‘  – Olaitan Maryam Mojisola

Ten Ways to Have A Productive Year

Ten Ways to Have A Productive Year

   It is a new year already, and we can not deny the fact that we are under pressure. Even as we are still in the festive mood; celebrating the birth of a new year, we are worried about the uncertainties that await us in this year. As usual, we have thousands upon thousands of questions and thoughts squeezing our minds; we are restless about the influences that the new year will have on our lives (finances, relationships, careers, decisions etc.)

   It is no doubt that we are liable to bring the regrets, failures or depression of the past year(s) in to the new year. Of course, we are human! We can not tell if certain challenges or hurts will last for a long time. The best piece of advice that life gives us is to persevere. 


Persevere? How long shall we do that?’ 


   See, as long as we want to have positive deeds and good accreditations, life expects nothing but perseverance. Have you ever asked yourself, ‘why must the journey to a successful life require lots of struggles and pressure?’ Life itself strives to exist, that is it! So, we too have to strive to survive evey challenge that comes ways. A new year is here and we are so disturbed about the unknown things (good and bad) that it has in store for us. Funnily enough, we have lots of experiences and responsibilities of last year(s) that we have to roll over to this new year. I am trying to scare you or make you feel more depressed. I just love to be realistic about issues that concern us generally. Before you think of making any decision thus year, I will advise that you consider the tips I have for you.


  1. Be at peace with your past: I love the sayingYou can not put a new wine in an old wineskin‘. The importance of settling the dispute between your past and present situations can not be overemphasised. As long as you bear the hurt caused by your past, there is tendency that you may find it hard to move on with life.
  2. Be sincere with yourself: Actually, you can deceive anybody you want  deceive, but, you can not deceive yourself. As you move on to the new phase that life has placed before you, be willing to be true to yourself.
  3. Be Vision-minded: Visions tailor our minds towards the right missions. Live this new phase of your life with positive visions. You will not regret it.
  4. Be open to opportunities and be wise with them: As you journey this year, be available to opportunities as life gives you. Do not sit back and expect things to come to you; go for good and your life will thank you. I often say, not every opportunity is meant to be utilised. As you open yourself to opportunities, do not be promiscuous with it; only choose opportunities that are in line with your visions, missions and destiny. Be wise with the opportunities you take.
  5. Be evaluative: In all you do, remember to review your life generally. Take time to rethink and fish out the rights and wrongs you have. You do not need wait till weekends or the end of the year before you examine your life. Make it a constant activity. You will not regret it!
  6. Love yourself more: Be pleased with yourself; enjoy your life as if it is the only companion you have.‘  –  Olaitan Maryam Mojisola   ‘More love resides inside us than the ways we express it. –  Olaitan Maryam Mojisola 
  7. Love the things that life has given you or gives you: We can not dictate for life, so try hard to tolerate everything that life gives you and see if you can change things for better. If you can not, then, be willing to love them like that.
  8. Touch lives: One of the beautiful things to achieve in life is to influence people’s lives positively. It does not have to be in grand style; a cute smile, a short laughter, a pretty can heal the broken hearts of people. Make a duty to put a smile on someone’s face everyday. 
  9. Count your blessings and cherish the lessons: Successes will come, failures will take place, but, never settle for less. Appreciate the lessons that life teaches you and be proud of the achievements your hardwork earns you.
  10. See life as a moving train: Believe me, nothing in this world is worth dying for, but, we can live for everything that brings us joy. Live like tomorrow is not promised, be happy with yourself, bless people, spend wisely, do not take everything too serious. Be true to yourself, be true to people. Above all, recognise and journey life with God.

New Year’s Resolutions

New Year’s Resolutions

   Sadly, it has become a yearly routine for lots of us to make resolutions at the beginning of a year. It would have been good, if we had not turned such habit to a fruitless one; we deploy so much seriousness to our lists and fail to nurse the determination to bring our resolutions to life (reality). As the end of one year approaches speedily, we channel our minds toward cooking up what we will put down on our lists for the new year, neglecting the fact that we had wills’ and ‘won’ts’ that we failed to achieve during the previous years. Certain things are involved; It is either the lack of achievable goals or the absence of determination, persistence or zeal. It is a different thing to have goals and a different thing to be able to have’realistic‘ goals. Unfortunately, many of us set goals that we can not achieve within the timeframe that we have. Some of us set goals that we are not convinced about their successes; we doubt our abilities to make them realistic. At the end of the day/year, we realise that we have had an ‘unrealistic’ year. 


Then, what is the solution to this problem?

   Before you think of making another unrealistic resolutions this coming year, take a pause, review the previous years, were you able to achieve at least 70% of the resolutions you made? Were you sober about it or you moved on with life because ‘it is a normal routine; another year would come’? 


  • It is another time of your life to make a difference; break the norm, change the routine. 
  • Take time to figure out what you want to eliminate; that bad habit, that unyielding expectation etc. 
  • Relax your mind; press down the pressure, breathe in and out, think and rethink and rethink before making resolutions. 
  • Separate your long term goals from your short term goals. Get a pen and paper, write down your goals.
  • Tailor your mind towards your goals; let them ring in your head daily. Remind yourself of it every morning; before setting out for work and at night; before going to bed.
  • Prepare your mind for challenges. No positivity comes without obstacles.
  • Be ready and willing to fight for your victory.
  • Be very optimistic; a positive mind has great influences. Stay positive and believe in yourself.
  • Foresee your success. I like to quote myself ‘No man can foresee your success more than you can.’
  • Enjoy every moment you work hard to attain your goals
  • Take time to review your actions. Most times, some of my friends think that I’m overemphatic when I advise them to review their actions. Reviewing your decisions gives you meaningful avenue to discover the fault(s) in your choices. So, review your life before taking another step.
  • Embrace your mistakes. We all make wrong choices at some points in our lives, so, do not feel like you are the only Adam in the garden of Eden. Accept your errors and move on with life.
  • Praise yourself whenever you achieve your goals.
  • See life as an endless race; it may end during your time, but, live a positive life like that is the only choice.
  • Review your successes and desire to get better results.  


    ©Olaitan Maryam Mojisola

    Was this article helpful?

    Leave a comment below!



    If this article was helpful, use any of the ‘share’ buttons. Help a friend to have a better ‘New Year’s resolutions!

    A Productive Evaluation

    A Productive Evaluation

    The most beautiful part of every journey or race is the end.’ – Olaitan Maryam M

       Even before the end of every challenge, goal, expectation, race and so on, we have an idea of how the real end will be. As humans, we are blessed with the ability to predict things or situations, we can tell when an end to something or someone will come, even if we are not so sure, at least, we can assume that we have an idea about it. This fact about us makes me to ask people, ‘Must we wait for the end before we act?‘                                               See, life is a rolling ball, it waits for no man or excuse. Lots of us strive to have positive results at the end of our struggles, but, life exhibits its true colours most times; thus, causing things to work out the opposite ways. But, chill, life is also a playground, we just need to know when to play and work. Having this truth, we are left with two options; give up or buckle up.                                 Often times, we are optimistic about our goals when they are still young and pristine. We value them as if they were precious stones, we are eager to share them. Along the line, things change; our patience is tested, we find ourselves in the spine circle, we get confused, perplexed etc. Everyone experiences the good and bad sides of life. Yeah, everyone does, in fact, these experiences (good and bad) come at the same time of simultaneously. But, the beautiful thing about them is our victory at the end of the race.
       Like previous years, 2016 is rapidly coming to an end. A good one or the opposite, whichever one, it is coming to an end, whether we are glad about it or not. The hard but common question is ‘How was 2016 to you?’. As usual, lots of us will have poor reports to give, some will give good conclusions, while others will have a mixture of good and bad conclusions about the year.    In conclusion, I’m not here to be sanctimonious. Gladly, lots of us have written our ‘end-of-year‘ achievements and failures. Have you? If yes, congratulations! If you have not, it is not late to start today. At the end of every situation, event, challenge or year, take a moment to have a productive evaluation. It is very important. As the year rides away, we should look forward to better, friendlier, sweeter and more positive years. 

    Have you done a productive evaluation of how you spent the year?

    leave your comments!

    Formal Education : An Immortal  Gift of Nature

    Formal Education : An Immortal  Gift of Nature

       One of the features of underdeveloped or developing countries is poor state of education. As we know, literacy is an inevitable attribute of desirable and successful countries. Thus, the absence of formal education leaves us with less knowledge. Sincerely, if a man is not learning, he is bound to not increase in knowledge. Now, tell me, how can someone who lacks knowledge to understand things or apply wisdom to critical issues. Knowledge produces understanding and wisdom; what you know is what you will understand and apply wisdom to. I believe that formal education is a key to diverse, countless forms of exposure. You can not learn about things or people and still be a stranger to such. Whatever your mind is exposed to rescues you from the hands of ignorance.          

       Knowledge saves one from ignorance. Understanding rescues one from confusion. Wisdom preserves one from ignorant confusion.

       The desire to teach and zeal to learn gave us limitless access to knowledge; formal education erupted from people who had passion to share knowledge with those who thirst for knowledge beyond theirs. People of the old shared knowledge within and across borders, and that led to the free flow of literacy that thousands of generations enjoy(ed). The provision of formal education paved way for more discovery of talents and availability of life-changing connections. Inventors, writers, doctors etc. were discovered and connected for a better world. Today, we have lots of books, philosophies, inventions and many more talents. All these and more are the products of formal education. Today, we can access any kind of knowledge at any time and place with the help of the internet. 

       Now, knowledge lives without bounds with the help of formal education.

    It is highly agreeable that abundant availability of unbiased school institutions across borders will not only give us a better world, but also save us from the hands of diverse forms of ignorance that we still find ourselves. I dream of a world free from ignorance; illiteracy. Do you? I am open to knowledge, so that the dream can be achieved. Are you open to knowledge?


    ©Olaitan Maryam M.

    Boredom

    Boredom

       I believe strongly that every human experiences boredom once in a while or most times. Even the liveliest people get bored. How we react to people or things is really different; some give in to depression when they are bored, while some utilize boring moments. For someone like me, some of the best moments can be the boring moments. As a writer, I enjoy boring atmosphere; when there are no people or experiences that can bring life or make me happy. I take a book and pen, listen to my thoughts and write. At the end of the boring moments, I realize that I have gained meaningful results.                                  Often, I think that boredom is a free gift of nature. A lot of us have extremely tight schedules, that we do not take time to review our activities or lifestyles generally. That makes me ask, how often do we examine our lives? 

       You may want to ask me why people feel bored. Some people do not even know why they feel bored. As long as we have billions of people on earth, we will always have countless causes of boredom. Most times, we assume that it is caused by tragic events that take place or lack of fun. Come to think of it, people who spend hours having fun also feel bored in between those hours. Do you agree with  me? The absence of fun is not the absolute cause of boredom. A million and one people will agree with that. For some people, depression opens the door to boredom. The moment they feel depressed, everything becomes boring to them. Some experience boredom when tragic events take place, they feel as if the world is against them and nothing interests them. Addiction can be a source of boredom. An addiction opens ways for boredom to come in anytime the victim fails to do it. One who is addicted to music will feel bored if he/she fails to listen to songs. Lack of fun, inspiration can also be major causes of boredom.

       However, I can assure you that every moment is worth utilizing. I mentioned earlier that I write, each time I feel bored. Same way, you can make use of boredom, do not sit back and let the moment go without spending it wisely. Enjoy every moment; spend time, do not let time spend you.

    ©Olaitan Maryam M.

    Acknowledging Our Differences

    Acknowledging Our Differences

       The diversity that is identified with nature and all its features, including the human race is known to us. Everything has its peculiarities; things that bring about differences or distinctions. Every man does not have the same names, characters, abilities etc. As a child grows, he gets to see or know the existence of the diversity inside and outside his environment. The older he gets, the wider the differences, the better he acknowledges the inevitability of diversity.                         For me, I believe that there is no problem with our differences. If anyone thinks that it is a problem tolerating one another, I believe that we can not change all the cultures that exist on earth. In fact, I think life on earth will be boring if we do things the same ways. I really love the differences that exist among us, it makes me want to know, see, feel and taste more of life. If I were given the chance to change the world, I would rather have it the way it is. Is it not beautiful to have different tongues, food, fashion trends, beliefs and many other differences? If were going to be hard for us to live together, God would not put distinctions among us.  

       I pray and hope for a world where religious beliefs will not be our main identities, where the gap between the poor and rich will not be the fence of separation, but a mere manifestation of the inequality of life. I believe in the revelation of a world without blemish, where our old ones can confidently lie in death, knowing that their successors will have greater achievements. I believe in our oneness. I believe in our unified diversity. I believe in love. I believe in tolerance. I believe in you. I believe in myself. I believe in us.

    ©Olaitan Maryam M.